Husband, Leader, Christian Husband

My last message was on the Biblical role of women. Today, let's look at the husband's role as Husband, Leader, Christian Husband. As I proceed, it will become clear that the role for men is multifaceted. Men are called to love, lead, respect, guide spiritually, communicate openly, support, forgive, and be faithful. All these facets contribute to building strong, lasting relationships and marriages that reflect God's love for us. So, let's develop a comprehensive guide for husbands on their biblical roles of love, respect, and care for their spouses and families.

Divorce and the Husband, Leader, Christian Husband

Genesis 2:22-24: " And the rib, which the Lord God had taken from man, made he a woman, and brought her unto the man. And Adam said, This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh: she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man. Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh."

This verse establishes the fundamental marital covenant and bond. This covenant or marital contract is to be always honored. The covenant seals the marital relationship that should not be broken.

Malachi 2:15-16 says, "And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore, take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For the Lord, the God of Israel, saith that he hateth putting away: for one covereth violence with his garment, saith the Lord of hosts: therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." This passage in Malachi refers to divorce, which is a transgression that God hates. According to God through the Apostle Paul, there are only three legitimate reasons for divorce.

The first is abandonment, as alluded to in Malichi. If you "put away" your wife, you are basically abandoning her. However, this dynamic works both ways, in today's society. If a wife abandons her husband, it can also be grounds for divorce if one or both spouses are unwilling to reconcile their marriage.

Second, is adultery as noted in Matthew 5:31-32, "It hath been said, Whosoever shall put away his wife, let him give her a writing of divorcement: But I say unto you, That whosoever shall put away his wife, saving for the cause of fornication, causeth her to commit adultery: and whosoever shall marry her that is divorced committeth adultery."

And third, if a non-believing spouse decides to leave or divorce their spouse and will not reconcile to stay married, the believing spouse is allowed to release the non-believer. This truth is found in 1 Corinthians 7:14-15 "For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean; but now are they holy. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A brother or a sister is not under bondage in such cases: but God hath called us to peace."

In other words, divorce is unacceptable, but it can happen under very restricted circumstances. The circumstances revolve around marital faithfulness and being a born-again believer.

So, no adultery! Spouses must be completely faithful to each other in all aspects of their relationship, including intimacy. In other words, no third parties within the relationship. Lastly, believers hold a precious relationship with God. So, both spouses should be equally yoked. 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?"

Therefore, adulterers and non-believers have excuses to divorce. But a believing, equally yoked couple who are faithful to each other have no excuse for divorcing their spouse.

Faithful Husband, Leader, Christian Husband

Ephesians 5:23-6:4 is a good synopsis of a faithful husband and father. It shares "the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church:" In other words, the husband has the role of leader within the household, not as a dictator, but as a loving patient husband and father who loves the Lord first and foremost, followed by his wife, whom he loves and cherishes, keeping himself only for her, and then being a good loving father with well-taught self-disciplined children.

1 Peter 3:7: "Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered." This verse underscores the importance of treating wives with respect and understanding.

Colossians 3:19: "Husbands, love your wives, and be not bitter against them." Again, this passage emphasizes forgiveness and understanding in a husband's relationship to his wife.

1 Corinthians 11:3: "But I would have you know, that the head of every man is Christ; and the head of the woman is the man; and the head of Christ is God." This passage shares the hierarchy of relationships. God is the head of Christ, Christ is the head of man, and man is the head of his wife and their children, until they leave the home. Which is why Joshua said, "but as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

In Hebrews 13:4, God provides a warning for both men and women, "Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." So, a man must be flawlessly faithful to his wife – no roving eyes, no secret relationships, and no adultery, a true "one-woman man," which is the direct English translation of the Greek phrase rendered "husband of one wife" in most English translations of 1 Timothy 3:2 and Titus 1:6. A husband is always to be a one-woman man.

1 Timothy 3:4 is one of the qualifications for being a pastor, but it also applies to any mature Christian man. "One that ruleth well his own house, having his children in subjection with all gravity." A man should lovingly and patiently manage his household and raise his children to be good, respectful, loving children.

Matthew 19:6: "Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." An equally yoked, Christian married couple is bound for life, in the sight of God and man, and should never even think of divorce as an option. Remember, God hates divorce – any divorce, so those that God put together, let not mankind separate or divorce.

Mentoring Men to Become a Husband, Leader, and Christian Husband

Proverbs 22:6: "Train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands." This verse inspires husbands to nurture, love, and patiently care for their wives and children, instilling good morals in them. Family Bible study is a good place to start for any married couple.

The emphasis of society is pleasure, and if that pleasure is lost, couples feel free to divorce, but that was never God's intent. God designed us to cleave together on our wedding night, forming a psychosocial, psychochemical, and physical loving bond. Our brain chemistry changes in that first moment of physical intimacy. We are bound together. Two born-again believers should never break that bond. The elders of the church should mentor the younger members of the congregation in either formal or informal counseling. This truth also emphasizes why pastoral pre-marital counseling is paramount before a Christian couple gets married.

Husband, Leader, Christian Husband Concluding Comments

A man, whether Christian or non-Christian, should be guided by love, leadership, respect, open communication, support, forgiveness, and faithfulness. Being a Christian husband goes a few steps further. A Christian husband must not only be a leader but a spiritual leader – the high priest of his home, teaching his wife and children the Bible and the gospel of our Lord Jesus. He must apply Biblical principles in every situation, being a Christian man and husband all day, every day. We can't be perfect, but we must try with all our hearts to willingly obey Colossians 3:23, "And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men."

We are not here to comply with the culture and nature of this world. God calls us to do everything we do in a manner that would praise, honor, and glorify our Lord Jesus Christ. As men, leaders, and Christian husbands, we are called upon by God to do His will and be the best we can be, exemplifying the fruits of the spirit: "love, joy, peace, longsuffering [patience], gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness[humbleness], temperance[soberness]: against such there is no law." Galatians 5:22-23.

Men must lead their wives and children as God intended, obedient to Biblical doctrine and theology.